Too Weird

Saturday, I waited anxiously for my Harry Potter book to arrive. The squeaker, who is accustomed to waiting for Amazon packages containing some anxiously anticipated treat, helped me check the porch every few minutes.

At one point, I said, "Where is my package?!? Maybe it's not coming today after all."

"Mama," said the squeaker, "maybe you are just too weird to get a package from Amazon."

Suddenly, I felt like he'd seen through my disguise. My own kid thinks I'm weird?!? I thought a toddler's own family was the very definition of "normal" from his perspective since, after all, he doesn't know anything else.

Anyway, when my book finally came, I made sure to show it to him so he'd know that Amazon doesn't refuse to deliver to this weird mama. :)

Googly Googly

Someone visited my blog based on the following Google search:

can pregnant women wee in a policeman's hat (Google)

I am not sure what to say about that. :)

A Complaining Post

This is going to be a complaining post.

First, let me say that I feel very lucky to have a part-time position. I love that I spend so much time with my boy, and I can’t wait to do the same when my second boy arrives in the fall. Working part time means that work is at the margins of my life, and I like that.

BUT, I’ve begun planning for my maternity leave, and it’s making me grouchy. With the Squeaker, I was fortunate to work in a place that gave new parents 6 months of leave. You applied whatever annual and sick leave you had, and if you ran out, you could use leave without pay. I had about half of my 6 months covered, so I went three months without pay, but we could afford it at the time.

This time, my workplace is also flexible about the total length of the leave period. I had hoped to take about 18 weeks; about half of that would be unpaid. However, it turns out that my workplace uses the terms of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) for health insurance purposes. After the 12 weeks of unpaid leave to which I am entitled, I would be required to pay not only my portion of my health insurance (which is about $320 per month), but also the portion covered by my employer. The grand total would be about $1500 per month for health insurance, on top of the loss of income. My extra six weeks of leave would cost me nearly $2300 in health insurance premiums.

There might be other options – maybe we can switch to my husband’s insurance, though it’s more expensive and the coverage is not only poorer, but it’s also centered in the DC area, which is and hour and a half to two hours from where we now live. Getting two bureaucratic government agencies (his and mine) to effectively handle the paperwork for the switch sounds fraught with the possibility of screw-ups that could make health care complicated for us.

But whether I can come up some convoluted solution to the dilemma isn’t really the point. The fact is, this country has parental leave policies that are just plain embarrassing. Twelve weeks of unpaid leave. I can remember when the Squeaker was 3 months old and it occurred to me that for many women, leaving a baby that age with a child care provider was the only option they felt they had. And the squeaker was still struggling to master nursing at that point! I couldn’t imagine having to leave him with someone – and pumping milk, and dealing with bottles...ugh. And yet I may have to do that this time.

I feel a little spoiled complaining about that, since I am so fortunate to have a part time position. Leaving my new baby will mean I am only away 20 hours per week, instead of 40. If I use one day of leave per pay period in the 6 weeks after I return to work, I can work 6 two-day weeks while using only 3 days of leave. Two measly days of work sound pretty painless, especially if that would allow me to avoid the $2300 health insurance cost.

But when I compare my choices with those of women in most other industrialized countries, I feel pretty angry that I’m left trying to make the best of leaving a 3-month old baby without his mama because of (1) employment demands; and (2) the excessive cost of health insurance.

Squeaker Adventures

We took the Squeaker to one of our favorite museums in Baltimore to show him the mummies and the medieval armor. He has this book about gargoyles, and some of the gargoyles peer into the building that they call home and see mummies and suits of armor. So we thought he'd like to see what that was all about.

And indeed he did. Except that he was very distracted by the musuem's display of fragments of statues, or statues that were missing limbs. "Oh," he'd say sadly, " that one's broken. They should fix that." We tried to explain that they were very very old and that they were cool even if they were broken, but it was clear that he found that completely nonsensical. I think he even wondered if we really realized that the museum was full of broken junk that should be discarded. Still, he did seem impressed by the mummies and curious about the armor.

He also acquired a new set of marine animals. He already has 10 billion of them, but we took him to Toys R Us and told him he could pick one small toy. He spent an hour wandering the aisles and examining everything carefully, and he seemed prepared to choose some rubber dragons, though he was less than enthusiastic. It was as if he couldn't find what he was really looking for.

Then he saw it -- his "pail of whales." It's a round, clear bucket of marine animals, most of which he already has. I don't know if it was the way they were packaged or what, but he was the one who declared them to be a "pail of whales," and once he spotted them, he knew just what he wanted.

As "a pail of whales" suggests, he seems to have a pretty sophisticated grasp of words and word games. He told me yesterday with a devilish smile that he was "puzzled by the puzzle" that he was working on. He seemed to find himself quite amusing.

Other than the usual squeaker antics, life has been pretty unexciting, and not in a bad way. Only 12 or so weeks to go before the wee one arrives. The Squeaker is excited, though he's already mused that we might have to give the baby away if he cries too much. I feel very very tired, which is something I don't remember experiencing when pregnant with the Squeaker. And I still have some days of queasiness of varying degrees, though it's not as bad as it was during the first 18 weeks or so. I did experience that with the Squeaker; I remember feeling that my stomach never really felt settled until after he was born. So I guess the ickiness may persist. But I'm feeling like the end is in sight!