Bedtime

The bedtime routine has become very protracted. After bath, the squeaker goes into our bedroom to snuggle with his papa and hear a big-kid book, while the pipsqueak and I snuggle in his bed to read his books. Favorites are In the Night Kitchen, The Runaway Bunny, Mo Willems' pigeon books, Hippos Go Berserk, and Eight Silly Monkeys. By the time the squeaker comes into the room, the pipsqueak has had his two minutes of nursing and is snuggling into the bed with me.

Then they beg for a story, so I tell one in which the boys alter-egos (hobbits) go on adventures, sometimes with Daisy the Dragon, often involving jungles or trips to the moon or encounters with witches (or robots, Lightning McQueen, or motorcycle riders, if the pipsqueak gets his way). Usually, I tell two stories, the second one very very brief. Then they want a song, so we might sing You Are My Sunshine, Molly Malone, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, Puff the Magic Dragon, or some other song.

Then another round of hugs and kisses, especially for the pipsqueak, who demands a kiss for his forehead, chin, lips, and each cheek. More hugs and kisses then. Maybe a sip of water (each boy has his own sippy cup by his bed, but the pipsqueak hates the sweat on the outside of the cup and begs for assistance). And then I leave the room.

After only a few minutes, I am likely to hear, "Mama! Mama! I have to go to the bathroom!" So I'll go in the bedroom, get the pipsqueak, and put him on the toilet while the squeaker sighs loudly about little brothers who keep him awake. The pipsqueak will pee and then I'll get his diaper and pajama bottoms back on him, tuck him back into bed, and give yet another round of hugs and kisses.

Then I'll leave the room again. Only a minute or two later, the squeaker may appear looking sleepy and disgruntled. "There's a weird noise. I'm scared. There's something in my room."

So I'll go in and listen, and indeed there is a click click click noise from the fan. I'll explain what it is, kiss each boy one more time, and leave the room.

Then: "Mama, mama! I have to go to the bathroom again!!"

This time I am very grouchy, and the pipsqueak knows it. "Mama, are you angry at me? Don't be angry." And I'll tell him, "But you just peed! You can't possibly have to go again!" But I'll strip off his jammies and diaper and set him on the toilet again, wait while he tries to pee, and then dress him again when he's discovered that he does not in fact have to pee again.

When I take him back to bed, I'll discover that the squeaker is sleepy and grouchy, but that he also has a bloody nose. So I tend to that, and then kiss everyone ONE LAST TIME.

Further calls for mama are met with "Go to sleep! Now! I'm not coming back in!!" Sometimes, though, the pipsqueak will say to me the next morning, "You made me sad, mama. When you yelled. I was sad after that."

Sometimes, mama cannot win.

Anyway, last night, there was an interesting variation. Between the pipsqueak's two bathroom trips, the pipsqueak talked the squeaker into telling him a story. As requested, it included Lightning McQueen. When he finished, the squeaker said, "There, I told you a story. Now I am going to sleep!"

But the pipsqueak said, "Now I'll tell YOU a story."

"OK."

"Once upon a time, we were walking in the forest, and...and...then a MONSTER. Rrroooaaar!!!"

The squeaker was clearly unimpressed with the pipsqueak's story-telling techniques. "But where did the monster come from?" (I expected him to continue: "What motivates the monster??" but he didn't.)

"From under the bed!" whispered the pipsqueak in gleeful dread.

Then there was a very long silence.

Finally: "Mama, I have to go to the bathroom!!"